Just call him "David"

I can't help but smile every time I read David Shannon's "No David" and other "David" books to Ethan. We almost have the entire collection. This is my son. He's the sweetest, most lovable wild child and he's 100% real. Thanks goodness, he's too innocent to understand conformity and he definitely marches to his own drum. We need people like Ethan. He'll be the type of guy that when sitting in a room with a bunch of suits listening to a boring lecture, will make the inappropriate comment that makes everyone chuckle under their breath and lightens the mood, God love him. He's got more personality in his pinkie finger than, well...you get the point. We've had a lot of incidents with Ethan in the last week. Someone told me a while ago to keep a journal of Ethan events because they're so outrageous, this week I'm starting one. Maybe I'll turn them into children's books in 20 years and embarrass the gajebeez out of him. Here are a few highlights from the past week:

Last Thursday:
Email from posh, creme de la creme preschool Ethan's been attending for more than a year: "Ethan has been very destructive here at school lately, from purposely breaking a chair, to sticking various objects down our bathroom sinks and toilets. It has become a problem considering he's damaging school property.

I have to interject, my son does not do these sort of things at home. And I found out later the chair breaking was an accident. He does other dumb stuff, but he knows better than to break my things on purpose. He fears my wrath and knows the wooden spoon will be waiting to rear it's ugly wooden self on his bum.

School: "We are putting into consideration having to remove him from our school if his behavior does not change".

Me: I apologize profusely and will pay for any damages done to school property. Obviously this is not a good fit for him and or you and I will be removing him from school immediately.

I don't make excuses for bad behavior. But my son is three and they advanced him for academic reasons to a 4 and 5 year old pre-k class. They were going to put him into Kindergarten next year. He was by far the youngest in there and I always questioned his age with them, but they assured me he was fine. His teacher later tells me (about a week before I took him out of school) that all the other children can stay on task for 10 minutes or more, but my son, who fully understands the task, can only stay on task for about 2 minutes. I wasn't trying to be rude, but I politely pointed out to her that my son IS 3!! And he's a very active boy! Phew. It's not rocket science people.

So, here I am. It's winter, I'm pregnant, and my son now has no school and is bored out of his mind. I'm trying to get creative, but just like any parent, you need a break. Although I love him to death and he loves me, we both need some time apart. His time at school was just that. I'm now back at square one. Trying to find a good fit for my son. I visited BYU preschool today and was extremely impressed. I just hope he will be accepted. It's a long shot. They give priority to students an faculty.

Sunday:
I'll just give you a quick synopsis. 4:15 pm. arrive home from church. 4:30 pm. Ryan and I making dinner, Ethan puts superman shirt on and tells me he want to go outside and fight bad guys. I say no because it's Sunday, it's getting late and it's freezing outside. I say he can go in the garage and play with toys while I make dinner. 4:40 Check on Ethan because it's grown quiet. He's escaped and in nowhere in sight. Uncle Peter goes one way, I go the other and we scour the neighborhood. No Ethan. 5:45. I call 911. 5:50 Provo city police department, fire engine and ambulance arrive at my house. Ryan is there to let them in . They search our house from top to bottom. I'm out driving around looking for him. My ward is out looking. It's dark, and he has no coat (just a hoodie), and it's 25 degrees outside. I'm crying my eyes out, praying that he's alive. 6:40 Completely dark , no Ethan. I've covered all of south Provo. More than 2 hours has gone by, I start thinking the worst. 6:50 Ryan calls me, he's been found, perfectly fine. Fire chief brings him home in his car, not a scared bone in his body, just hungry and tired. he tells me he wanted to go for a run and stretch his legs. Nice.

Tuesday morning:

Wake up to an awful smell. Go downstairs to find #2 matter all over my half bath (walls, floor, sink, toilet, vent). My son was covered in it and was attempting to clean the mess with lots of water and towels but just making it worse. He obviously had the runs and didn't get to the toilet in time, it was all in his p.j's too. Without saying much else, I'll just tell you it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen or had to clean. It took more than an hour to clean the bathroom from top to bottom, I even used an entire bottle of lysol, a whole container of lysol wipes and bleach. And for a pregnant lady with a hyper sense of smell, that's an accomplishment. I couldn't get too mad, he was sorry and it was an accident.

Wow, that's a lot for one week. The fun never ends at my house. At least my life isn't boring. Oh yeah, and my kids aren't perfect. But I love them just the same.

Now I have to ask, was your week as interesting as mine? I know Azucar's vitamin incident with El Guille is defintely noteworthy, but I still think I win.